would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
