office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
