Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Randomize
