There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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