apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
