Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
