Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
