I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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