My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize