Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm too high and old for this...
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