i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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