There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
