and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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