Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize