i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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