HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
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