HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
