We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
