C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
