Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
