i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
