it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
