I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
