I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
