we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
