It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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