I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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