It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
