Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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