Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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