I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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