Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
