Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
