You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
