i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
