I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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