Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
