I'm drive I can fine osifer
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
