Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
