i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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