Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Randomize