Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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