Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
