you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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