I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
In America we eat man semen.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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