every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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