hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
