I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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