I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
