I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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