There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
