You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
