i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
