I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
