If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Houston, we have a blender
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
