I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize