one two three fourrrrnication!
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize