help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
