I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
