found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
